Day One

So, I finally bit the bullet and joined Weight Watchers, again. Luckily for me, my day-job started a Weight Watchers at Work program, and subsidized half the cost! So, with a few friends, one of my besties included, we attended our first meeting yesterday to learn the basics and have our first weigh in.

Now, the weigh in. I'm not happy wih the number at all. But, thankfully, our awesome leader pit it into perspective. "That's the last time you'll ever have to see that number." I believe it and I'm pretty stoked to give 'er another whirl.

Today was the first day I followed the program. It's not difficult by any means. It just takes an adjustment to be conscious of everything you put in your mouth. I'm vowing now to journal EVERYTHING I eat. Mentally, I know how important the journalling is, and like everything else, I start with the best of intentions. This time, success is the only option.

I named the blog Fit Before Forty because, shockingly, I will be forty in just two years (and ten days). I've lived at least 30 of these years overweight. Thirty years. I was 6 pounds 12 ounces when I was born. I joke that its the only time in my life that I was a normal, acceptable weight. I was always the big kid. Being half-Italian added to my appetite (seriously? Is there even such a thing as yucky Italian food? Well, besides cardone?)

I've witnessed my grandfather inject insulin daily for diabetes. I was in college when my mother was diagnosed with diabetes. I've sat in countless hospital rooms with her for her various ailments, most of which can be traced back to diabetes. I was by her side when she passed away last November at the age of 64. I really don't want that future for myself or Diana. I don't want the embarrassment for her because she's the kid with the fat mom.

What so I want? I joke around and say that I just want to be skinny. Yea, skinny would be nice. But what I really want is health. I want to be able to take a walk without feeling like my back will snap in two or my knee will just give-way. I want to walk up a flight of stairs and be able to carry on a conversation when I get to the top, not clutch my chest and gasp for air. I want to shop in the "normal" size section and buy the cute little shirts I see on the Internet.

I want to be a positive role model in Diana's life. I want her to make positive choices, and how can I ask that of her if I can't do that myself? I don't want her to remember having a fat mom. Yes, she's at an age that she might remember things; I remember a lot about being 4-6 years old. And there's always the photographs to keep memories of fat-mommy alive, but I'm ok with that. At the end of this journey, I will still have to make decisions that impact me daily. I want my daughter to learn how to make the same decisions and show her the consequences of bad decision-making. Can I spare her from making mistakes? No, just like my mother couldn't, although God knows she tried. I just hope I can be some sort of role-model that my daughter can be proud of.

This is going to be a very slow journey. I'm really hoping to blog everyday, but I'm not promising a daily update. I'll do my best to blog regulary though.

So, come along for the journey. Grab a bottle of water and join me along the way!

Here's to health ...
Kath :)